Remaining

I remain here,
amongst my hatred
and the grudges to the ones who dared fleeing. 
I remain here sitting
beside the aggressive echoes
of those cries, broken hearts I took once just to caress,
tormented by the idea of no safe place, no shelter, 

left alone by the highway
taking care of the spite once left inside 

my chest just like a child 
screaming by so vividly "don't leave me alone"

I hold the grudges once and yet held against me, 

searching redemption from my sins.
Hold the nervousness of my words 
not trembling but crumbling while tried to be spoken 
confused but excited,
fortunate just to be heard by
the goddess I once betrayed and now has forsaken me
and yet still validates the feeling of home.
The stars feel cold despite of being made from heat. 

I can't recall my place, it can't be called fair, I remain here.
In despair I remain here, 

trying to become a better version of myself 

but still holding my hatred, still embracing my grudges. 
I remain here, waiting for your message yet feeling so unnecessary,

unwanted presence, remaining echoes of a love thrown away so long ago. 
I remain here, I'm sorry.